Halle Halle Halle lu lu lah!
Madison Avenue Presbyterian Church - Outreach - Blogs - TEEZing Out The Roots
These past couple of weeks the reality that I will be leaving Zambia very very soon has begun to settle like a 50 kg bag of mealie meal onto my shoulders. I don’t do well with farewells, which is compounded by the fact that I have no idea when I will see again so many people who have touched me, impacted me, and become my family. I feel as though I am once again on the precipice of everything about my life drastically changing. As such, I have been walking through these past several days especially in what I will describe as a fog within a whirlwind. I am constantly with people whose lives have intermingled with mine, going from place to place and receiving visitor after visitor to share in these closing moments. At the same time my vision and emotions are muddled and befuddled by this heavy fog of anticipatory grief.
Today, though, no matter how heavy that fog and bag of mealie meal were I couldn’t suppress a grin that kept surfacing. For, my heart kept playing a video of my little sister Isabelle belting out “Halle Halle Halle lu lu lah!” You see, today is the first anniversary of my ordination to the Ministry of Word and Sacrament. I must admit that on August 9, 2015, I was also in the midst of this very same foggy whirlwind. I was about to leave loved ones behind. I was on the precipice of radical change. There were so many people I needed to see and things I needed to do. Heck, I even agreed to preach at the Sunday morning service the same day as the ordination service. This was after a week that saw me fly from New York to Chicago, drive to Indianapolis, and be examined by the Whitewater Valley Presbytery. I was decidedly not doing a good job of breathing, let alone taking moments to bask in the beauty of what was happening.
This photo and all following photos are courtesy of Vimary Couvertier-Cruz
One year later, I can look back with a grin on my face and tears in my eyes. I can look back through the lens of a year’s experience of preaching, dancing, baptizing, inviting people to the table, teaching, playing soccer, learning, and praying—in short, worshipping—in Zambia. I can look back and see how truly wonderful that day was. From Rev. Ruth Chadwick Moore’s participation after marching with me through the CPM process to Ruling Elder Carolyn Statler’s holding my hand after holding me steady from the beginning when I first came under care of Session; from Isabelle’s singing to my grandma’s Scripture reading; from Sade’s beautifully devastating poetry to the devastatingly beautiful poetry of the Lord’s Supper; from the prayers of my Bible Study loves to the visions cast by my brotherly and sisterly loves; from Rev. Eun Joo noona’s ever-challenging and exquisite preaching to our shared scramble to find the words of institution; from Vima’s vesperanzic singing to Mina’s dandy reading; from D’Angelo’s call to worship to my own benediction; from the community of saints surrounding me and laying their hands upon me to Mama Spirit filling me up…IT WAS FULL OF WONDER.
Rev. Ruth Chadwick Moore
Elder Carolyn Statler
The Lord's Supper with Rev. Eun Joo Ryo Noona!
And today I realized that I am still full of wonder. “Halle Halle Halle lu lu lah!” will always be with me, and that is no small thing. Even when I am not cognitively there, my soul will always rest in the knowledge that the most important people in my life were there to lift me up, and they continue to hold me. And when the wind seems to be whirling too rapidly and the fog settling too heavily, it is those hands on my shoulders that will always help to anchor me and bear my burden.
The family sharing their love
One of the hymns from my ordination, one of those songs that shines as a guiding light on my life’s journey, goes like this:
Spirit, spirit of gentleness.
Blow through the wilderness, calling and free.
Spirit, spirit of restlessness. Stir me from placidness.
Wind, wind on the sea.
You moved on the waters, You called to the deep,
Then You coaxed up the mountains. From the valley of sleep,
And over the eons You called to each thing,
"Awake from your slumbers and rise on your wings."
Spirit, spirit of gentleness.
Blow through the wilderness, calling and free.
Spirit, spirit of restlessness. Stir me from placidness.
Wind, wind on the sea.
You swept through the desert, You stung with the sand,
And You gifted your people with a law and a land,
And when they were blinded with their idols and lies,
Then You spoke through Your prophets to open their eyes.
Spirit, spirit of gentleness.
Blow through the wilderness, calling and free.
Spirit, spirit of restlessness. Stir me from placidness.
Wind, wind on the sea.
You sang in a stable, You cried from a hill,
Then You whispered in silence when the whole world was still,
And down in the city You called once again
When You blew through Your people on the rush of the wind.
Spirit, spirit of gentleness.
Blow through the wilderness, calling and free.
Spirit, spirit of restlessness. Stir me from placidness.
Wind, wind on the sea.
You call from tomorrow, You break ancient schemes,
From the bondage of sorrow the captives dream dreams;
Our women see visions, our men clear their eyes.
With bold new decisions Your people arise.
Spirit, spirit of gentleness.
Blow through the wilderness, calling and free.
Spirit, spirit of restlessness. Stir me from placidness.
Wind, wind on the sea. —James K. Manley
This was the Spirit there at my ordination. This is the Wind that will carry me through the buffeting storm in which I find myself now. This is the Breath that will always give me life.
Halle Halle Halle lu lu lah!
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